Clapton, Beck ... and Paige

I'm not sure what expectations I went into Friday's Jeff Beck/Eric Clapton concert with -- aside from the persistent rumor that Jimmy Page was reportedly backstage at the Garden and possibly would make an appearance in the show to complete the dream lineup with all three Yardbirds -- but whatever they were, they were exceeded and then some.

I'd always thought of Jeff Beck as a master of the guitar, but one who just used speed and agility to make the musical point. This after years of seeing video of events like the Arms concert and the Crossroads Guitar Festival. (Oh and possibly my favorite video of the '80s, "Ambitious," which features a host of familiar faces -- Donny Osmond, Marilyn McCoo and even Tattoo from "Fantasy Island" -- auditioning to be the vocalist on the song) But I'm happy to have been proved way off base.

I was knocked flat by the 45-minute set that he opened the show with. Whether it was just with his kicking band or with the assistance of an orchestra, his guitar just seared through every single song.

"Corpus Christi Carol," a song close to my heart because it was a staple in the late, great Jeff Buckley's repertoire, almost brought tears to my eyes. But then again, it might have just been Jeff Beck's guitar tone having its desired effect.

Jeff (Beck) didn't do any material with vocals, and hey, that's because he just didn't need them. And his band was just as righteous. The new female bassist Rhonda Smith (sorry Tal Wilkenfeld fans!) did some kicking solos and returning drummer Narada Michael Walden just smashed the hell out of his skins to keep up with Jeff.

If there should be any question over his use of an orchestra in rock and roll, I would just roll video of "A Day in the Life." Ugh, I sure could use Yoko's non-linear thinking right now to express how that song just arouses all the senses. Mere words don't seem to do it enough justice.

So I was literally wiped when that set ended. I didn't think I'd be able to recover in time for the intermission and EC's solo set. This fact was made worse by the two numbskulls behind me who kept loudly voicing that there was no way Clapton could compete with Beck's play. (If I have to be honest, I did kind of worry about it myself, and I've never been described as anything short of a Clapton fanatic.)

But really it's like comparing apples and dominoes. Jeff Beck's guitar sort of cuts a swath through his song, while EC's is entirely complementary -- surrounding all of the other musical components and then elevating it to a different level.

Having the acoustic set first did nothing to quiet the loudmouths. And they just got worse (of course) when asked to keep it quiet. I really had to focus to get past it -- even when the song I had been waiting for, "I've Got a Rock 'N' Roll Heart," started. Long live, T-Mobile! Well, T-Mobile sucks, but long live their promotional department for glomming onto that as the signature song promoting the EC phone.

After the four acoustic songs, it got easier to not hear what I didn't want to hear behind me. "I Shot the Sheriff," never one of my favorite songs, was a highlight. As one friend once said, "You can tell how an EC show is going to be by how good 'I Shot the Sheriff' is." Well, judging by that barometer, spectacular.

It got even better on "Little Queen of Spades," with EC and longtime keyboardist Chris Stainton blazing the trail. And, of course, "Cocaine" got everyone rocking out.

Then, the moment we'd all been waiting for as Beck joined Clapton on stage. OK, all of us except the drunk motormouths behind me because they took off early into the set. I didn't have time to ponder the error of their ways, because the two guitarists intermingled to perfect effect. It was pretty much Beck in the foreground and Clapton in the background, but chalk that up to the apples and dominoes analogy.

"Moon River," another bizarre choice for a rock concert on its face, was haunting. But it was "Outside Woman Blues" and "Little Brown Bird" that really proved the dream matchup point.

Visions of future recordings with the dynamic duo danced in my head through "Wee Wee Baby" and "I Want to Take You Higher." And although Jimmy Page didn't pop out and see his shadow, it couldn't have mattered less as they barreled into "Crossroads."

So I left with an impression of Jeff Beck that went from zero to 60 in about two seconds flat. That'll be an obsession for the next few months, I am sure. And now I have renewed excitement about going down to the Crossroads ... Guitar Festival that is, in June in Chicago.

Live Peace in Brooklyn

Yoko Ono, an acquired taste to be sure. One that puts you in a very different place than where you started, that's for sure. And that's the intent. Since her performance art is all about taking you spatially out of your comfort zone -- and everyone from me to Eric Clapton and back felt that Tuesday night at the Brooklyn Academy of Music -- I guess I'll just go with that flow.

--Were the four days of snow that hit the metropolitan area just part of her work? The frosty white images and sturdy, dangerous but glassy-looking ice patches seem to be in direct proportion to songs like "Don't Worry Kyoko (Mummy's Only Looking for Her Hand in the Snow)" and "Walking in Thin Ice." I'm not for sure that this wasn't Yoko's doing.

--Is the guy sitting in front of me with his combover blocking my view part of the art? It seemed twice as likely to be true when I moved a seat to the left after Act 1 and there was a woman, a smaller version but with her hair gelled up so high it seemed to be a combover as well.

--The guy emitting noxious fumes to my right definitely better not be part of the act.

--Power zoning. That's what Yoko's songs can do to you. You're powerless, she has all the power. She knows and revels in it.

--That band, led by Sean Lennon (who in beard and hat looks uncannily like his father), is fun-ky. This is like Concert for George, where Dhani Harrison looked so much like his dad that you couldn't stop looking. I gotta admit feeling eerie and a tiny bit of the ick factor as he prods Mummy on.

--Over the course of the show, she reaches for a water bottle with her left hand. Is this intentional or is she just thirsty?

--Yoko sings of hearing fish calling from the ocean. I really think I can hear them.

--Bottoms up. The famous "Bottoms" video which photographs, obviously, cheeks was ever-present. Even in the bathroom there was a poster of the grainy black-and-white imagery.

--Second act ... a diverse collection of musicians pay tribute. The Scissor Sisters lose themselves in "The Sun Is Down" ... Justin Bond does a very humorous take on "What a Bastard the World Is" ... Sean channels dad for "Oh Yoko" with Gene Ween ... Sonic Youth's Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore artfully hacksaw "Mulberry" in cadence with Yoko ... Bette Midler, who made her own fluffy arrangement, thrills the masses with "Yes, I'm Your Angel" ... Sean's best friend and his dad (Harper and Paul Simon) do nice guitar duets to "Silverhorse" and "Hold On."

--Yoko ... Eric Clapton ... Klaus Voormann. The first time the three Plastic Ono band members have been on stage together in 37 years. It's a joy to see Eric out of his comfort zone and his playing -- spectacular on "Yer Blues" and "Don't Worry Kyoko" and just out of this world on the song they hadn't even rehearsed, "Death of Samantha" -- is a sight to behold. ... Sean talks of Eric giving him quick guitar lessons before the show on how his dad used to play the songs. Yoko tells stories that I didn't hear and/or understand. Eric didn't seem to either. I feel better.

--Everyone ... except EC unless my vantage point to the far left prevented me from seeing him ... comes back on stage. They and we sing "Give Peace a Chance," with an additional "Happy Birthday" to boot.

So glad I went.