Chasing Zöe (and other assorted Chiller tales)

Twice a year, after poring over the lists of "celebrities" attending the Chiller Theatre Exposition in Parsippany, N.J., I usually decide not to go on the basis of not having someone I realllllllllllly like there. But this year, it actually came to fruition because 1.) my sister was able to go and 2.) I was going to meet an online friend who I've been talking with for quite a while.

There were some folks I was looking forward to seeing: Robert Loggia, who is a cult figure in my newsroom due to this orange juice commercial and this "Family Guy" appearance; Parker Stevenson, one of my teen crushes from "The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries" and Zöe Bell, the stunt woman for whom Quentin Tarantino scripted an amazing set of car chases for in "Death Proof."

Since I watched "General Hospital" back in the day and have been tuning in more recently to see my favorites from said day, I also planned to see Jackie Zeman (Bobbie Spencer). Admittedly, she's not one of my favorites, but she is from "my era" of the show. And there were other assorted people that I also wouldn't have minded seeing -- "Shawshank Redemption" warden (Bob Gunton), creepy serial killer in "Copycat" (William McNamara) and Linda Blair (because she uses her celebrity to help animals).

So after a few years of talking about it, I finally was on my way to Chiller. (Truth be told, I sort of wish -- in retrospect -- I went last time when Pam Grier was there, but that's another story.)

Sis and I set out for the Friday night activities, making the wise decision to use our early-access pass that night (since the general admission line snaked down the street and we weren't gonna be back in time for early admission Saturday). Now as you know if you've ever been to a convention in which people are selling things, it's best to make a loop around before you start doling out your money. It's also sometimes hard to do. I basically did a good job of that, but sis was a little dismayed when she grabbed the first "Popcorn" DVD she saw, only to find it popping up quite a bit across the convention hall.

Now the great thing for me about the conventions is the chance to meet actors. My sis goes for the opposite reason, to check out the merch. But she will be the first person in the world to stop what she's doing if she hears I'm going to have my picture taken with an actor. Which I will always give her full marks for doing.

At Chiller, many of the main attractions are in what they call "The Pit," which makes for long lines and general mass confusion. The "Boondock Saints" guys were tremendously popular, but having not watched that, I didn't approach those lines. Saw Dean Cain and although I never watched an episode of "Lois and Clark," he looked so approachable that I just ended up on his line. While I was winding my way through that one, that's when I noticed Parker Stevenson (who I actually WAS there for) tucked to the side and looking lonely. I told his companion -- for the purpose of this blog, I will call them handlers -- not to let him go anywhere because I would be right there after Dean.

I was wearing my Superman hoodie, so it seemed appropriate to meet Dean that day. At least he was impressed. I asked him if he was growing a playoff beard (for hockey), he said he wished he was, and this was just for a part he was doing as a basketball coach for a TV show. I questioned him further about who he was rooting for in the hockey playoffs. "Devils, of course!" he stated. The fact that I was standing in front of him in a Devils hat probably had nothing to do with it, right?

So we're having our picture taken, and he's sort of framing the Superman logo on my hoodie. This led to much discussion and general total disbelief that was what he, in fact, was doing. But let me discount one theory. Not a baby bump ... he actually had his hand on my cell phone and wallet in the pocket. A totally nice guy, I was really glad I got on that line and I vow to at least watch the first season of "Lois and Clark."

On to Parker... after all, I promised! And now my sis has shown up and she's taking the picture for me. Parker was looking at my Volume 2 of "The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries" box set that I wanted him to sign and admitted he didn't even know it was available. I said "You should!" He said that he gets so little royalties for that show that it didn't matter much on that front. He also said he had shown his own children the first season and they enjoyed it greatly. We talked a little about "Legion," a sci-fi movie he said was supposed to be campy, but they didn't quite get it right. I said we still laughed our way through the whole movie. He met Lorrie and called us the dynamic duo -- or something like that -- as we were departing. By the way, the man has mesmerizing eyes. There's a chance he put me in a trance and I clucked like a chicken and just don't remember it.

My third "target" for the day was the one-and-only Robert Loggia. As previously mentioned, Mr. Loggia looms large in my newsroom. A fan a couple of people ahead of me asked if it was indeed him in "Family Guy," and he and his handler said it indeed was -- still disputed in some circles (but not by me). My objective was to get him to sign a photo to the newsroom with "R is for..." and then his signature. Which is just what I got! While we were setting up for the picture by sis, I told him that I really liked him and Carroll O'Connor in "Return to Me" and he said that was a good memory for him. As I was leaving I told him to have a good weekend at the convention and he replied "Thank you, darling." What a sweetheart.

After some bad pizza, I went on another search for Zöe Bell, and apparently the celebrities in the same room as she was supposed to be were hearing the same question a lot. So off to do some shopping ... got the entire series of Gary Cole's "American Gothic" for a really nice price. One last fruitless check for Zöe, during which time I saw Jackie Zeman and there was a funny moment when I told her I couldn't meet her until tomorrow because I promised a fellow GH fan, and we called it a night.

Blasted an old "American Top 40" on the way to the convention the next day, that was as fun as anything that happened that day. Sis does great impressions of Steve Perry and basically anyone doing a power ballad. And we got to the show not too long after Carol. Finally the first meeting! I can't speak for them, but I felt comfortable right from the get-go with "Movie Star" Carol and her witty friend Linda.

I asked what she wanted to do first and Carol said Jackie Zeman! So we worked our way over to that room so I could meet Jackie more properly than I did the previous night. I told Jackie that Carol and I met because we're both big fans of Sharon Wyatt and we were diehard viewers during her time on the show. (I think it was a pretty good tap dance myself.) I wanted Carol to be in the picture with Jackie, so we did that and each got an autograph too and that was that. Probably our fastest meet of the day.

Another run through the Zöe Bell room and I was getting bad vibes, because one of the tables that had been there the previous day was gone. That didn't bode well. So we continued on our merry way and then we saw the table for "Shawshank Guy." I kind of regret calling him that, because even though there were five or six people between us, he still heard me say that.

In reality, the actor who played the warden in nature's perfect movie, "The Shawshank Redemption," is Bob Gunton. But I didn't really talk about that when I got up to him. He was also in "61*" -- Billy Crystal's great movie about Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle and the 1961 race toward the home run record. Bob played Dan Topping, the part-owner and president of the Yankees during that era. He mentioned how similar Barry Pepper (Maris) and Thomas Jane (Mantle) looked to the real guys and about telling Crystal that he was the only guy who could have gotten all the great character actors together for the movie. He said Billy cried when he told him that.

When we set up for the picture -- Bob made sure the "Shawshank" poster in the back could be seen in the shot -- then he off-handedly said, "You're now an inmate of Shawshank," which made me burst out laughing (as you can clearly see).

Now on Saturday, there were at least three times as many people as Friday night, so the pit lines were crazy. The "Boondock Saints" lines were out one door and down the sidewalk and the regular pit line was almost to the seller hall. We got on the latter, only to have some guy come by and say "Go to 'The Sopranos' line, there's no one on it." So Carol, Linda and myself took the hint (where others didn't). Only we couldn't find said line. So I went into the pit to find a security guard who could tell me where it was and just kind of ended up in the pit, with Carol and Linda hot on my heels. We laughed about that all afternoon.

So we got on Linda Blair's line. I feel she really uses her celebrity for the good. She wasn't just there to rake in the autograph/picture bucks, all her proceeds went to the Linda Blair WorldHeart Foundation for rescued pets. While we were on that line, we noticed how short the Dean Cain and Parker Stevenson lines were. They definitely could use a better system at Chiller, for there were people just standing on long lines waiting to get in to see these guys, but they must have felt otherwise.

Linda, Linda and myself had a reallllly long conversation about rescuing animals, as it is a cause as close to Linda's heart as Linda B's. And I got my two cents in about the menagerie that we've brought into the fold. A few times Linda B. said she had to go, but she just kept talking with us. As Carol later humorously pointed out, she thought Linda Blair had stolen her friends.

Down different corridors, there were rooms with other celebs. I never did lay eyes on headliner Alice Cooper, but I was thrilled to meet William "Call Me Bill" McNamara. We talked about "Copycat," one of my fave lesser-known films and he said that the movie and "Seven" were vying to come out first. "Seven" did and "Copycat" was inevitably called a copycat of that thriller. Personally, I like "Copycat" better. Bill also showed us on my DVD cover that the movie poster was also his creepy character but over that picture was a reflection of the film's stars Holly Hunter and Sigourney Weaver. He said most people didn't usually see it was him, and I concur.

For those who have seen "Copycat," it starts with an agoraphobic serial killer expert (Weaver) talking to an auditorium of college students about how non-descript a serial killer can be. She calls for a camera to scan the crowd and the view passes over McNamara, but never stops on him to foreshadow who the film's villain will be. One of my favorite cinematic moments.

After a quick discussion of "Stealing Home," which Bill said didn't get great reviews but was very popular with movie lovers, we bid adieu and stepped to the side. That's when Linda and Carol had a little discussion about the movie poster behind McNamara -- "Chasers" with him, Tom Berenger and another Chiller guest, Erika Eleniak. When Carol said "I loooove Tom Berenger," I could see Bill and his handler overhearing and laughing. Twas a cute moment.

That was mostly it for us at Chiller, save the moment when I told Carol and Linda we'd probably run into my sister in the bathroom -- and then we did! Sis was equally bemused when Linda, who she hadn't met, started talking to her about her son, the "Star Wars" fan, because Lorrie couldn't figure out why this woman just struck up that conversation with her.

So after one last look for Zöe, I did some more shopping -- yay, I got Billy Preston DVDs and some movies I probably didn't need -- and then sis and I bailed and decided to go check out Kevin Smith's comic store in Red Bank. (No, there's no picture, it's called SECRET Stash.) I actually did better at the little music shop across the street. Nice prices. On the used stuff, anyway.

The capper was a few miles away, visiting the convenience store Kevin Smith made famous in "Clerks." Lorrie and I were much more taken by the abandoned video store next door, for we could peek in the window and see videotapes -- a few of which we know would be worth some bucks on the internet market -- just sitting right there. So "Goliath Awaits" and "Cookie" continue to await someone to come whisk them away.

Convenience store itself was less impressive, particularly the guy who played a disenchanted clerk better than Brian O'Halloran did in the movie. So I bought a lighter to commemmorate the moment -- Devils' red, of course, since Kevin Smith is a big Devils fan -- and our adventure drew to a close.

So all in all, a great weekend and I'm awaiting the list of the celebs at the October Chiller. I'll try not to get too worked up, though, in case one or more of them Zöe us. (And just for the record, on her Twitter, Ms. Bell says she never was officially confirmed for the event.)