Cuddling up with 'The X-Files'

Just some words of wisdom to Wizard World attendees. You have someone you absolutely must see? Make sure you do the VIP treatment. Otherwise your day will be filled with stress and loathing.

Public service announcement over. And rest assured, our trek to Wizard World in Philadelphia ultimately has a happy ending. It was just the getting there that took some work and patience.

We were going to see The X-Files trio of David Duchovny (whom I had never met), Mitch Pileggi and William B. Davis. The latter two I have crossed paths with at other smaller cons, so David was the big get. I was a little nervous about him, he's so smart -- and as Mark rightfully says -- doesn't suffer fools lightly. I didn't want to be one of those irritating fans that makes him roll his eyes.

But I have to say, in all that I saw, David was warm and thoughtful with everyone who came up to him. Which was some feat, since it was hundreds of people in an hour span, with lightbulbs going off every 30 seconds in the photo op and items being thrust at him to sign every 30 seconds after that.

First was the photo op. And the VIPs lined up -- hundreds of them -- to go ahead of the regular folk like me. I was about 10th on the plebeian line, waiting patiently for my turn. At least until some ballsy woman stopped David after her picture was taken to have him sign his new book for her. The handlers tried to stop him, the photographer wasn't thrilled about the delay, everyone on line moaned and groaned. But he did it anyway.

So I might not have been in the best mood when it was my turn, especially with little time to get everything done according to David's show schedule. But that all dissipated in an instant. I think he said hello before I even could. And then I gave him some instructions -- "Cuddle ... cuddle!" And cuddle he did, that man can take direction. "Don't leave until I get your autograph," I said only half-kidding as I bid farewell.

Technology being what it is, people can pick up those photos upon exiting the booth. Well, we're supposed to anyway. I looked for mine and looked and looked and didn't find it. Then the worker pulling them out of the printer looked and looked, and then he had the guy at the computer looking for me to print it out again. He couldn't find it. Kept asking questions like "Did you have your glasses on or off?" and "Were you with someone else?" Finally it popped out one of the printers ... and it was good! I was shocked that it's one of the better ones I've taken.

But if I was cool and collected for the photo op, I probably was pretty much the opposite for the autograph portion of the program. Although Mark had staked out a place 10th on line while I waited for the picture, he was displaced for the VIP line. No matter long how he waited, we weren't going to be able to get a signature until all the VIPs went through, even if they arrived at the last second.

With everything so tightly managed -- photo op, followed by an hour of autographs, followed by the X-Files panel -- there wasn't a lot of time if things got stretched out. Since I had prepaid for the autograph and David wasn't signing after the panel, it was then or never. It started feeling like it was going to be never.

But eventually we did get to snake our way toward him. I did snare a nice 8x10 photo of David and Gillian from the table. Because I paid for an autograph and had my own item, I figured, hey, I paid for a photo, might as well get one, even if it remains unsigned.




I told David my name and as I was spelling it, he said there wasn't time for personalizing on my book because they were running late. That I understood. But it drove the rest of my prepared speech right out of my brain. I tried to say I was happy to get to meet him, but that came out in a jumbled mess that even I rolled my eyes at. He was such a gentleman, not bursting into laughter on the spot. And he did say, "Thanks for coming, Paige" as we departed.

Mark and I made our way to the Terrace Ballroom for the panel, which started late, ostensibly because David was busy wrapping up the other hundreds of autograph seekers. When he, Mitch and Bill finally took the stage, Mitch cracked everyone up by quipping that he had to pee. Which I also had to do by this time.

There wasn't a lot of new information (for me anyway) imparted during the panel, but the guys had a really nice rapport with each other that made it a lot of fun. They were each asked how they got their roles. David quickly piped in that he was having an affair with Mitch and that's how the latter became Skinner.

Bill told a story about how he originally was up for a role that had a couple of lines, but when he got his, it had no lines. But it all worked out for the best, Bill said. Except for the other guy, David added. Bill shot David a mock look of exasperation and berated him for stepping on the punchline.

Two kids were induced to ask questions by people who brought them to the event. They both showed some attitude and made everyone laugh. So much so, that David invited the second one, Max, to sit on the stage with them. And Max proceeded to make faces and react to things being said like a pro. David said someday when Max is on stage at a convention, someone will ask him how he got his start and he'll tell the story of being part of The X-Files panel.

Remember the David "doesn't suffer fools lightly" thing? Well, when a woman tried to get the trio to flesh out an answer by restating what she'd already said, David lightly chided her that her "question hadn't gotten any better." That was the kind of stuff I was looking to avoid.

And I was on one of the microphone lines soon after the session began, but alas, I wound up being too late. I was still about 10 questions away (five people in front of me on my side, five at the other mic) when the Q&A ended. I was fine with that, other than wishing that instead of the  gobbledygook that I said on the autograph line, I had told David how much his tribute to late director Kim Manners in the revival's "Mulder & Scully Meet the Were-Monster" episode meant to me.

Our last task of the day was to get Bill Davis to sign my X-Files yearbook, since I came up with that idea after I had already met and gotten his autograph elsewhere. The book's looking pretty sharp now, despite the absence of Gillian Anderson (who I have seen in person twice, both again before the yearbook project started). So I picked out the best Cigarette-Smoking Man pic I could find in the book and had him sign for me once again.

Truth is, though, it was a lot cooler to converse with him at that other convention, rather than push my book toward him and make a banal comment about his reactions to Max during the panel. The former drama teacher reiterated that actors should never work with children or animals. But more truth, we sure got a clear picture of the reasons why that's the case during the Q&A.

Only now do I realize that I should have pointed out the awesome Veronica Cartwright autograph in the book and asked him about working with her. That would have been a far better question.

What's next for The X-Files yearbook project? I truly hope it's the Lone Gunmen ... and I truly hope it's at Monster Mania or Chiller.